It’s not an easy thing to do if you haven’t been taught what it means to forgive.  If you haven’t been coached, as a kid, on emotional things.  Relationships.  How to identify or manage what comes up for you internally.  It’s not an easy thing.

I have spent a lot of time thinking, written a lot of words, and seen a lot of therapists to work toward accomplishing and dealing with many things, but one of the big big goals I’ve been working toward has been to learn to forgive.  This wasn’t a goal I had determined from the outset.  It’s something I’ve come to realize as a necessary practice to move forward.  To move on.

I forgive my parents for their shortcomings as parents.  I forgive the circumstances I was thrust into; under which I came to know and understand the world.  I forgive the various people who’ve betrayed my trust, whether they meant to or not.  I forgive myself for whatever reason(s) I’ve been flogging my self – internally.  But is forgiveness something that holds its stance indefinitely once it’s been established?  Is it a floating tectonic that comes together with the rest of you when you find it, but has the ability to break away or find you again with each shift?

I have come to understand everything we deal with or experience in life as a process.  Forgiving.  Understanding.  Trusting.  Learning.  Falling in love.  And through all of the many processes we experience.  Through the choices we make, the mistakes we realize, the people we forgive.  Compassion is needed to usher in all of these things.  Compassion is needed.


Not like a switch.           

Falling in love:
Not like a switch
Not a tock, not a tick
Not a flop, not a flip
Not a drop in a wishing well
Not the rub on the lamp
that triggers the grant.
Not the transition
from position to position
to position
in dance.
Not the push,
the rush
of a last breathe;

Falling in love.
a viscuous flow,
on porous surface;
sure constance.
cracked crust, alive
atop fiery blood (breathing)
thick as amniotic juice, heavy on the pulp.

 Written Friday, April 27th, 2012 @ The Living Room.




By Stephen Dunn

The torturer removes a fingernail:
No forgiveness for him.
An old Nazi softens, laments:
No, put him to death.
He who hates:
Give him a mirror and a gun.
He who hates in the singular:
Forgive him, once.
The crimes of lovers:
Forgive them later, as soon as you can.
Anyone who hurts someone you love:
Saints, you forgivers,
we could never be friends.
The betrayer, the liar, the thief:
Forgive anything you might do your self.
The terrorist pulls a pin:
Forgive the desperate, the homeless,
the crazed
The terrorist pulls a pin:
No, no more good reasons.
The rat in my crawlspace, the vicious rat:
No forgiveness necessary.
I, who put out the poison:
God of rats, forgive me once again.

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